Questions of a Dreamer

What’s in him that makes me so attracted to him?

What’s in him that makes me shiver whenever he’s near?

Why do I feel so rejected whenever he doesn’t say hello?

Why do I feel so scared to look at him straight in the eyes?

Why do I stop myself from smiling whenever I see him?

What’s in me that helps me pretend that I don’t like him?

What’s in me that makes me want to be with him always?

Why does he make my worst days into the best?

Why does he seem so far yet he is right there in front of me?

Why does he seem to be always there even in my dreams?

Todos Nosotros

I do long for his coming

To be one with him

To journey with him

To reach paradise

Oh, but he is here

Within us all

Trying so hard to break away

From our stone hearts

But until he does not find

That small patch of blue

Amongst all the gray,

He will be patiently waiting.

072906

Today is another dreary one...
Rain and more rain
And the cold winds... the cold winds...

I don't know what to call this one
But the date today
So I did

Well, now I am to slumber
Underneath the warm, inviting comforts
Of my tiny bed

No one to be with yet
No one to share this cold rainy night with
No one but my stuffed animals
And my dreams

Hatred

I’ve never in my life hated a person as much as I hate him
He orders people around as if he is a god
But if you make him do even the simplest of things
He orders another person to do it for him

At first I did not let it (his attitude) or him bother me
But lately he seems to start abusing the friendship
That I have given and the patience I rewarded to him
He acts as if he is the boss of me

No one could ever order me around like that
Maybe except my family
But he isn't family or anything close
Now all I could think of him is filth

He cannot survive in this world

The way he is doing now

He lies, cheats and stab people's backs

He's a coward little bastard

I want to push him off a cliff

And I’m sure I’m not the only one who wants to do this

Tell me,

Who wants to be tailed around by a liar, a cheat and a dictator

Man I hate him so

And lucky me, he's always my group mate

Erggggg

I hate him so!!!!!!!

Defense Mechanisms

I thought that this fire of desire inside

Had gone long ago

But lately, the fire is starting to kindle once more.

I tried to suppress it by dismissing it

I tried denial and all those other defense mechanisms

Just to mask it.

I even opted to hate him

Only to find out in the end

That i could not do it...

I Just Can’t Write Without Him

Why is it that

No matter how hard i try

To suppress my feelings for him,

They always come back?

And when they do,

The more difficult it is for me to get over.

I know he doesn't want me or if he does,

He only wants me for the friendship.

Every time I see him, I smile.

Every time he talks to me, I feel like I’m talking to an angel.

Every time he txts me out of the blue, I don't know what to do O

ther than to be in the state of "kilig".



I tell everybody I’m over him

But so are my poems.

I have written so many poems

When I had him as my inspiration.

Now, nothing.

Too much stuff to do,

I say to myself,

But the truth is that

I just can't write anymore...

It’s Still Him

It’s really amazing
How your dreams tell you
How you really feel for a person,
How you adore him or despise him


It’s really bizarre
The even if you try to
Suppress your feelings for someone
They always seem to crop up inside you


Many times I’ve told myself
“You’re crazy for liking him this much”
But each time I do so
My feelings for him grow tenfold


Every time I see him
Something in me quivers
So strong sometimes
That it’s as if I’m going to fall back


Each time he smiles at me
It feels as if I’m fighting a magnet
A magnet so strong
That all I could do is to submit


If this is what you call love
Then I’ve had it for some time now
I told him I liked another
But in the end it’s still him in my heart and mind.

Would You?

Would you believe me if I told you that I still love you
Even after you acted all zany and unbelievable?

Would you accept the fact that I lie to them
Just to keep my true feelings for you?

Would you consider the verity that I am happy
That somehow you accept my naivety?

Would you be there with me
When all is lost?

Would you play sweet music for me
When I need it?

Would you sing with me
When I ask you to?

Would you love me
The same way I love you?

Would you be there with me
When all is lost?

For Kevin

I could not fully remember
The first time
He walked into my life
But I surely, truly remember
The last time


He was such a small boy
Long ago as I remember
Quite interesting
But a bit too voluble
For my taste


But nevertheless,
It was short-lived
For now he’s a bit too reticent
Too reserved to the point
That he daunts me



Kindly tell me if something’s up
Expose your conundrums if you must
Valiantly face your future
Instinctively show me what you’re made of, for
Nought can ever stop you from being you,


Mark your own trail
Abandon trifling things
Restraining, hampering.
Keenly embark into a new momentous novel. . .

For the Three

Truly treasure
The few days
We had together

Until the next time
We see each other
Or better still, longer.

Hope you will not forget
The way Carlos does
The special moments

The happy times
The sad events
And the wonderful experiences. . .

Longest Hour

As rain clouds
Slowly form atop
And the gentle breeze
Comes more often than usual


A small patch of blue
And a small ray of light
Bravely and surely
Peep through


Now, it’s nearly four
The longest hour almost done
Sighs heard as the bell rings
Laughter and yawns. Goodbye…

The Prophecy

The mighty kingdom of Schloss
Will suffer a great loss
For its most triumphant king
Will be killed.

This seems to be always true
But what is different is due
To the killer’s identity
So very unlikely.

Our greatest lord
Will be killed by his own flesh and blood
A child bearing the knowledge
And the powers of Feind.

How this will happen
Or when it will occur
Cannot be ascertained
Or verified.

Be Safe…

How then did you get pass
Those things that guard this sanctuary
And how did you manage
To enter this fortress?

I could do anything
And would do everything
Just to keep my progeny safe
And to know how well she is

Take us with you
Purloin us from this bastion
Taciturn and forlorn
Take us to your fastness.

I could not do that child
For I do not want any of you
To lose your lives
Stay in this castle where you all will be safe

Worry not my child
For soon after all will be done
Just be patient
And keep them company
I have to tell you though
That someone is after both of us
He and I could be dead soon
So I ask you to keep him safe

I could do that
With all my might
But what will happen
When you will be gone?

Nothing will happen to him
For he too is protected like you
But you still have to stick together
And fight this battle head on.

Be safe now
Stick together and be calm
By doing so you will be safe
Be safe…

To Give You Me

Why is it easier to write poems
Of heart aches and goodbyes
Than it is to write
Of joys and hellos

Like now
He did something
That I would never forget again
He did it before and he did it once more

How can a simple cuddle
Be so remarkable
How can a simple song
Be so marvelous

Just as the song goes...

Your eyes are the windows to heaven
Your smile could heal a million souls
Your love completes my existence
You’re the only other one who makes me whole

And just as what I say…

I believe you are the one
Who will always make me laugh
And smile and cry
You will be very hard to forget


You will be the one who would tell me
“I’m here when you need me
I’ll back you up when you get scared
I’m right here…”


You will be the one who would say
“Stop…
Let others, let me help you
I’m always here to give you me…”

He Knew

He knew
He knew all along
Why didn’t anyone warn
This ever trusting heart

They knew
They knew all along
Why didn’t they say something
To give me the heads up

He knew
He knew all along
What this heart feels
What this heart yearns for

They knew
They knew all along
That he knew
That he was on to me

He knew
He knew all along
Why didn’t anyone warn
This ever trusting heart

Time Cries

Time is one of life’s many mysteries
Ready to change and turn to miseries
Endeavors can give you the courage
Vagabonds always have the knowledge
Omissions might not let you nurture
Risky situations you venture


Cries of children
Rise up like a lark
Uneasy feeling it is when time changes
Zesty experiences whenever you turn pages

Just My Life

Just as I thought I made the wrong decision
An enigma came knocking on my door
Nothing special yet not what I envisioned

Many came into my life untold
Impersonators only bootlicking
Carefree creatures so cold
Heartless imbeciles only mocking
And yet I still go on liking.
End this stupor
Let me see candor

Lend me a hand, my paradox
Lift the darkness dominating
Awaken me from this slumber of
Nonsense slowly consuming
Everything
Tear down walls blocking
Anyone who can make my life more. . .

Stop Running Away

How can a person
Be so unlucky
And so very lucky
In the same season?

That question
Kept on bugging her
From the time she reached home
And sat down in front of her computer

She told herself
That she needed to write this down
To remind herself
That life has its ups and downs

Then it came to her. . .
Another letter
From a friend telling her
That something great has occurred


This is what was written:
“He’s coming . . .
You know, your bella amante
And, I heard he’s looking.”

So, she immediately called her friend
To ask her what she meant
Only to find out
What she has always dreamt about


“He’s looking for you
He has been looking
Since your remarkable exodus
Please stop hiding


It is clear that he likes you
Can’t you realize that
He’s here because of you
He’s here because he’s loyal


He never liked the other
It was just a misconception
So there was no need for your aviacion
What you did is just fly away from your future


A future filled with joyous experiences
A future filled with blissful silence
A future which is not dim
A future with him


So, if I were you
Shut up and see him
This might be the last time he’ll come for you
So please don’t run away from him. . .”


She did not hear anything else
Anymore from her friend
Because in that same instance
She saw her amante


Never was a meeting so happy
And so sad at the same season
How can you be so happy but still unhappy
That’s the mystery to every person. . .

They became closer than ever
They had a wedding soon after
They never failed to thank everyone
Especially the friendly one.

Their special friend
Who made everything clear
The one who was kind enough
To let go of her one true love. . .

The Troika and Quartet

I have been longing
For someone like you
To come and to stay

You who are willing
To be just you
Even if I’m away

You are always there to ameliorate
What you think is amiss
So that all will be fitting

You make me concentrate
On things I normally miss
You give me much cheering

You say that it’s nothing
But for me it’s something
For you make me work harder
And aim higher

Stop This Conundrum

I know he fancies another
But still, I continue on liking
Is there something wrong with my sentiment?
No! yet, it is so bothering

I know he sees me differently
He only sees me as a friend
Do you know how much this hurts?
It makes my heart burst!

Then I began to think. . .
I deemed that I only lack a wink
To see that friendship is better
Because I know that it could last longer

But then, my heart goes amiss
At the sound of this awareness
What could a girl like me execute
To stop this continuous conundrum?

I Dreamt About You Last Night. . .

We were together laughing
Then afterwards I started to cry
You stared at me
Not knowing what to do

Then another came along
And scolded you for not doing anything
To at least comfort me
Then you replied:

I am not doing anything
Because I was the one
Who made her cry
And I’m afraid to hurt her again

Then, I stopped crying
And started smiling
Because you, in a way, apologized
For the thing that you did

Whatever it was. . .

Loving , Passionate , Memorable

Loving art
Is what he does best
Today he is this, tomorrow another but,
Out comes his talents

Performing his wonderful pieces
At a stage play
Or painting
Lovely expressions of himself
Or just being

Many love him
All because of his carefree attitude
Remembering to befriend everyone
To gain more fans
I think . . .
No matter what he does, I’m a fan. . .

Proper But . . .

Proper and neat
Attentive and sensitive
Unalterably very funny
Lively and enthusiastic
Oh so impressive


But still down to earth
Ambiguous at times
Utterly defenseless
Time to time just plain
Instinctively wrong
Sometimes just purely stupefied
Tragically unable to do
Anything yet still manages.

Keeping a Secret

Amidst the stillness of the night
All I could hear is your voice
Which gives me delight
And unexplainable joy

Then I hear a certain timbre
Played on the piano
That makes me quiver
With utmost awe

The tune so deep
So vibrant
So sharp
But also so serene

That makes my heart beat
Faster and slower
Stronger and weaker
At the same time

Then you started humming
The tune you are playing
Then words came out
That made my heart shout
Stop this torture
If you only knew
How much it hurts
To keep my feelings for you obscure

Stop being so . . .
So who I desire
Please do not do
The things that I seek

But I know
That I have to keep it unknown
My feelings for him
Because I’m afraid that he might flee

Loving him from afar
Is better than him being far
Keeping my secret
Is better than being derided

He Took My Hand

He took my hand
Held me close
Looked into my eyes
And enjoyed every moment of it


He danced as if he was floating
Then I followed him
Willingly,
Calmly


Until now
I could feel his arms
Wrapped around me
Guiding, but still letting . . .


Letting me go free
Be with others
But in the end
I still find myself in his arms

Is this love I have for him
Or just plain friendship
That I don’t know
But don’t want to find out


For the fear of rejection
Lingers in me.
It’s better to have him close
Than to be thrown away

It is Easier

It is easier
To imagine a world
Different from ours
Better than ours

It is easier
To watch a movie
About fantasy than
Based on a true story

It is easier
To run away than
To accept the truth
About something vital

It is easier
To talk than
To listen . . .
In short,

It is easier
Not to be me . . .

Fishing Kaleidoscopes of Legends

Fishing the hearts of all
Represents his pure talent
Awakening the spirits
Never ceases to be done by him
Just because he plays
Ordinary keys that turn into amazing harmonies


Kaleidoscopes appear
In my head
Demonstrating
Defying
Ordinary reasoning


Leading into a world
An ordinary me wouldn’t go to
Meadows of wonderful scenery,
Abodes humble and quaint,
Deserts filled with oases and
Rivers infinitely flowing.
I envision them all
During heeding wonderful music he plays

Everything Seems

Everything seems bright
Now that I can see you
Dawning
Remembering what you were doing . . .
Innocently as you alight
Killing me with laughter



Someday I will tell you that
Yesterday you made me exultant

Alluring & Daring

Alluring his eyes
Longing will those he sees would feel
Vague impressions of him
Induces you to look twice
Necessitates you to be interested



Daring maxims he blurts out
In the midst of silence
Zeal you see in him
On every occasion he sees something different
No one would even notice

Never...… Such...…

I never imagined
Such perfect times,
Such wonderful places.
Such superb souls,
Such marvelous phenomena.


I never would have seen myself
With such fantastic persons,
Doing such daft things,
Being such a reliable apprentice,
Giving all of me.


I never thought I would like someone
Who is such an eccentric character,
Such a gentleman,
Such a chum,
Such a clown

Another Vision

Another vision came to me
Still about you
You came to see me
To talk about you


Quite confusing
Yet enjoying
A bit funny
And zany


But in the end
Silence…
Reticence…
Darkness…

188

Every tone you play
Every note you sing
Invokes my heart to soar

Every move you propose
Every problem you solve
Incites my brain to subscribe

Your touch
Your simple caresses
Leave me feeling protected

Your eyes
Your laugh
Let me not want to depart

Foreign he may seem but
Familiar oh yes he is
Although quite new

Facetious he sometimes is but
Foolish he is not
Accurate description: atypical

Right Fit

Right on top of this rock
You can turn to unlock
An invigorating feeling of bravery
Not to be ignorant of any dynasty



Flowers do bloom like a dutiable creature
Life of them, only you can nurture
Over mountains and seas
Reconciliation equals happiness, minus any disease
Everyone
Changes
Everyone

I Thank You

I thank you
For teaching me
How to be strong and
How to absolve

I thank you
For showing me
How to love and
How to be myself

I thank you
For making me learn
How to be blasé and
How to be blithe

I thank you
For instilling in me
How to heed and
How to aver what is inside me

I thank you
For making me realize
How important music is and
How it brings me much
I thank you
For teaching me
How to be oh so patient and
How to be mellow

I thank you
For showing me
How important it is to be pensive and
How to be reserved at times

I thank you
For instilling in me
How vital it is to plan and
How droll life could be

I thank you
For teaching me
How to be better and
How to be more

I thank you
For making me
Who I am now and
Who I will be

Why?

Why is it so difficult
To tell you what I feel?

Why do I have to pretend
That I don’t give a damn?

Why do I have to hide
What is already there?

Why do I have to lag
When you’re already contiguous?

Why do strange things happen
When I’m with you?

Why do I smile
When all I want to do is cry?

Why do I follow
When I really don’t want to?

Why do I have to talk
When all I want is to listen?

Why?

Qualm

Is it possible
To fall in love
With someone
Who considers you
As no one?

How can I be
So stupid and blind
Not to see
What I’m doing wrong?
What cannot be?

Where did it start?
How did it stop?
When did it return?
What made it revert?
Why did it…

Unending questions
No answers
Incessant queries
Giving only qualms
All because of one…

Who am I?

I hate the past
But not the people I knew
I love the present

And the people anew
I’m afraid of the future
And what is due


Help me face my fears
Wipe away my tears
Walk with me

My dear friend
Don’t go astray
Just hang with me until…

New Beginning , Hope and Life

new

contemporary neoteric

different innovative novel

establishment creation launch

instigation introduction

beginning

hope

possibility promise

expectation optimism anticipation

existence animation living

vivacity excitement

life

Austere…

Currently, things had been so hard
Havoc is all that can be seen onward
Armors slowly putrefying
Panoplies start flying

Greetings to all
Ease off the fall
Nemo faces everyday
At times of uncertainty

He asks now with hope
What everybody yearns for --
Amity, companionship, sanctuary
Not hostility, enmity, danger

Amity – friendliness and peaceful relations with others
Sanctuary – safety afforded by a place of refuge
Companionship – a company of friends and
Relationship that exists between them

Austere may be in both senses
But not certainly a nuisance
Unwieldy
But surely doable

XXIII (take care)

Lately,
I cry myself to sleep
Because of this hurt I feel
Oh so deep.

Lately,
I have been wondering
Why I chose you
Out of all the others

Lately,
I have been dreaming
Of perfect times with you
Every single night

Lately,
All I could think about
And talk about
Is you, and your doings

Lately,
Nothing seems
To make me smile
The way you do
Lately,
All I could hear
Is the silence
Brought about by your absence

Lately,
I have been trying
To depart from these feelings
I have for you

Lately,
I could not manage
To forget
You

Then, I began to write…

Veritas

Voyage with me

Elohim.

Render strength and wisdom.

Inculcate the importance of faith and transformation.

Teach us to be upright individuals

And guide us towards

Success and paradise.

Amen.